Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Being a Single Mother By Choice

In the fast paced modern world, many women are finding themselves in prime child-conceiving years, without a mate.  While some may see this is an unfortunate circumstance, there is a new trend emerging: single motherhood by choice.

Gone are the days of stigma surrounding single motherhood.  Many women are changing their outlook on the typical family of three, and starting on a journey to birth on their own.  Deep in their hearts they know that they are ready for motherhood without the help from a partner.  This process takes time, money, and planning; not to mention emotional strength.   Being a single mother by choice comes with a definite stigma.  Dealing with critical reactions and questioning attitudes will be the new normal.  Being confident in your decision, and having financial and emotional fortitude will help you overcome the nay-sayers.  Doctors may turn you away, and friends may drop off the radar.  Be prepared.  The friends that are supportive and loving despite their personal views on your decisions are friends you should keep.

Finding a sperm donor may be one of the toughest decisions to make on your road to becoming a single mother.  Check with local banks and online resources to find a sperm donor that fits your criteria.  IVF and other fertility procedures can be involved and painful; but this is a small price to pay for the reward of holding your child in your arms.  Talk with your doctor about the best options available for you based on your age, health, and lifestyle.

When planning your future, make sure to have back-up plans in place.  This includes saving up enough money to survive for at least 3 months in case of employment issues.    This emergency fund should include every expense: from insurance to groceries.

Another important aspect of being a single mother is having support efforts in place.  There are many community groups for single mothers.  Search local online group listings along with community calendars to find some play groups and single mother support efforts.  There are many internet forums as well that offer mothers a private, judgement-free environment to seek support and advice.
Being a single mother is difficult; make sure to have time for yourself.  This time can be for reading a book, getting pampered at a local spa, or taking a well deserved nap.  Single mothers need time to unwind just as much as married mothers.

A male role model is important in a child’s life; this is undisputable.  If you don’t have a male role model suitable in your life, ask friends and family to introduce you.  Always get background checks on anyone you leave your children alone with; babysitters or friends.  Let your children grow close to these male influences; encourage them to emulate their role models.

Above all, be proud of yourself and your child.  Foster an environment of love and learning.  No matter how difficult situations may become, be confident in your decision to become a single mother, and share your love and strength with your new family.

1 comment:

  1. TO become a single mother is always a tough job for a women, she should be really tough to play all the role of father as well as a mother by side. Parenting is pleasure which every parents understand and feel, but if you are alone at that crucial time then its quite difficult to match up with situations and circumstances. All the single mothers can take advice and ideas of child development form this website, i found it very helpful.